Your love has power over me.

Not the easiest situation ever. Let's admit this. 

I've got an amazing friend. I don't know what to do about him. 

I don't know how I feel about him. I'm giving myself some time to figure it out. 

I've got this friend and I've got a date with another man. 

Someone I never dated before, someone I know for many years now but who I don't really know. 

Though, I know how his lips taste like, how his touch feels like. 

I want to discover him too. I want to know how it feels to spend some time with him. 

I want to experience how it feels like to miss him. 

I want to give it a try but I am very scared about the consequences. 

Maybe that I don't know for SURE what or who I want right now. 

But I want it serious, engaged, true and on the long-term. 

Yesterday, he had stomach ache and I took care of him. 

It felt good and weird. 

Now, it seems that everything which was unwanted between the two of us is everything we seek, everything we tend to. He snoared next to me for a few hours and he stayed overnight. Gentleman in every single way possible. 

Tomorrow, I've a date with Thomas. a very unprepared and unpredictible kind of date and I am looking forward to it but I already feel guilty about probably being elsewhere. 

Confused.